Paska

24Apr11

(Third year’s the charm!)

Happy Paska! Хритос Воскрес! It’s been a day or so of fragmented sleep and it’s my other brother’s Birthday!

Recently. a few conversations with students have been questions of “What do you like about Ukraine” and “What will you remember about us?” And I don’t know how to fully explain to them how much being here  has changed my life, how I know now what I want to do in my life, and how I have a much deeper – more connected way in understanding and being who I am. I struggle to tell them how attached I am to Ukraine – that in a way I’m more attached and protective of Ukraine than I’ve ever been about the States, and that everything I’ve discovered is directly related to my relationships with Ukrainians – that Ukrainians have this way of space, presence and compassion and a way we, as Americans, can learn so much from them.

I also have begun to admit more that I miss America, because one thing Ukraine has taught me is the value in roots and family. When the times comes this time next year, I know I’m finally ready to dig my energy into my native culture even given my severe criticism of our materialism and fragmented political discourse. The good news is that this missing has turned from daily paralysis (and fear of my projects)  into active doing.

So with that, it’s time to review the previous 3 Easters:

Easter 1: My host mother said they were going to church at 2 in the morning, and asked if I wanted to go. Of course I said yes (I also always say yes before thinking and sometimes that gets me in trouble), and then she said, “No you don’t. You should sleep.” And apparently I sleep harder than I thought because I thought I’d be able to hear them, wake up and go. I stumbled out of bed around 7am, and everyone was already sitting around the table eating and drinking, so I did that with them for a while, then we went to a friends’ family, and then my clustermate  called and I went there, we played cards and ate some more (by this time it was dusk). This is where I met my constant PCV friend throughout the first half of my contract, Nattie, and the way it started off was me telling extravagant stories and having them get believed.

Easter 2: I’d planned on going to the entire service with Vlodya, but then something happened. I think it was a combination of the one-year ennui and me being a bit tired after coming home from Kyiv where I talked to the new group about life in Ukraine as a YD PCV. To this day, it still puzzles me to how nervous I got while speaking in front of that group. That had never happened before (and hasn’t really happened since). Around 11am I went to Lena’s parents’ house, got to hold Irinka, who at that time was really tiny, and the day culminated in roasting pelmini on shashlik sticks.

Easter 3: This time, I did go with Vlodya and Lena to the full service that started at 11pm. One of our friends, Valya, is the choir director, so Lena and I got to be upstairs which was nice because there was a place to sit, and then in the break between the two parts, there was food to be had to rejuvenate and not be so tired as it was 3 in the morning, plus it was cool to be able to experience all of the different parts of the service – the choir’s scrambling to change books/pages/folders of liturgy, seeing what happened behind the sanctuary’s doors, and watching the weaving of people down below. At 6:30, I walked home, took a nap, was really slow in moving to get out of the door, waiting for an hour for a marshrutka, and then got to hang out with some of my favorite people here – in other words, I was at Lena’s parents’ house again and got to play with Irinka (she is the coolest kid). Then we walked  the 2 hours home from there -me, Lena, and Vlodya- and I’ve just woken up from nap #2. Sometimes, I wonder how it is that my anti-nap life has been corrupted. But the thought when I unlocked my door?: I feel really happy and great about my life here. I know I have a lot of work to be better about being with integrity, but yeah, this is really cool, and being here is definitely what I want. I’ve been looking for that clarification lately, and here it is.

With that, be all, and enjoy.

-iea

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