two spun
Yeah! And WOW… and quite a bit of Whoa.
April 1st is a conundrum. It is my niece’s 12th Birthday. It also marks the official date of living in Ukraine for two years, and my launch into a third year. Two years is a long time to be gone, and three years will be even longer. I’m excited and terrified about that reality. I love my life here and am holistically challenged, but part of me is also remembering my American life too, and my groupmates who are getting ready to reenter their American lives.
I wonder. You’re there. I’m here. It’s strange to imagine what that is exactly. Right now, honestly, part of me yearns for my American life – of that essence which I grasp onto as my roots:
- To be able to see my family and friends from this other life that I have.
- To be able to go to my family’s Christmas traditions, or make it to weddings, funerals, births, you name it.
- To be able to climb my parents’ roof, sit on a Mexican blanket, read, listen to music and ponder at the humidity and city life happening around the house.
- To be able to touch my violin, take it to my parents’ backyard, wrap my toes into the knotted dry grass, playing for hours.
- To feel springtime in both Texas and Washington.
- To run down to the boathouse in Olympia and then buy pears and cherries at the Farmer’s Market.
- To devour chips and salsa at a restaurant.
- To walk around the King William District on First Friday or have a picnic with my parents at Brackenridge Park.
- To take a kayak and explore the Puget Sound, or hang out in the forests and mountains with my college buddies.
Mostly, right now, part of me yearns to see, touch, smile and talk to people whom I hold completely dear from a life I’ve stepped out of momentarily – from a life that daily, I’m not present to, until my mind wanders across the Atlantic. To say that I miss my American life isn’t true. I just remember it, know it’s there, sense it, and often think of my community.
In two years, so much self-cultivation has happened, it’s a bit ridiculous. I could list all of the changes that have happened, or the people I’ve met and been impacted by, or the lessons I’ve learned and engrained in myself about project implementation, or what I know to be true in what I will do after this because of this experience. I could, but that would take a very long hike and a place to sit on a mountain to be and think, because I can’t fully see it yet. Who I am now is beyond who I thought I could be, and I’m aware that a third year here will push that even further, which is a bit terrifying and quite exciting.
Cheers to two years of immense change, different realities, possibilities stringing into each other, and new ideas.
For now, I need to go figure out how to make a giant soccer ball.
-iea
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